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What We Pay Attention To

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This 2-minute video for parents features Mental Health Therapist Stephanie Dann talking about what we pay attention to as parents. - When times are hard, we tend to focus more on correcting and what kids are doing wrong. - Sometimes we get tunnel visioned and don’t see the times they are doing things right, those small glimpses of controlling emotions, maturity, and problem solving. - Changing your focus can change how you feel about parenting. - Noticing and letting kids know we see their positive behaviors increases the likelihood they will do more of it in the future too! Challenge: Try to notice one positive thing your student does each day this week, tell them what you are seeing! Just say the positive and walk away, don’t say the positive and end it with, “but you need to work on…”

Show Transcript

Hi! My name is Stephanie Dann. I'm a mental health therapist who works with the White River School District. Today I want to talk about what we pay attention to as parents. We can't pay attention to everything, so we give our attention to the things that are important to us in the moment. As parents, I want you to think about, what are you giving your attention to right now? Are you really focused on the ways your kids are falling short? Are you focused on their mistakes? Their negative attitude? Maybe the boundary pushing? Are you focus on the ways that they frustrate you? They just never listen! Or fight constantly. What would happen if you shifted your focus. What if you focused on the things your kids are doing right? What if you focused on the times when they listened, talk kindly, and get along, even if it doesn't happen very often. What if we focused on the positive steps in the right direction, even if they're really small? Those little glimpses of times when they control their emotions, show some maturity, problem solving, or patience. Sometimes we get so intent on teaching and correcting we forget to notice the ways our kids have grown. We forget to cherish them for the little people that they are, rather than the people that we're waiting for them to become. Changing your focus can really change your priorities. It can change how you feel about parenting, and it can even change the way your family interacts with one another. So try that this week. Even when things are really hard, try to shift your focus to what is my kiddo doing right. Notice it. Pay attention to it, and let them know. And see what happens. We know that when we pay attention to positive behaviors in kids we see more of those behaviors too. It's a way to change behaviors in our family. So try that this week and see what you discover.

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